Dear friend.....I let your paw go.

I first have to say I know that I have not been blogging. There has been much to say but no desire to share if that is understandable. Right now I have the need to type, cry, wipe my nose on my shirt and get it all out so the few friends I talk to most dont have to hear about it 17 gabillion more times.

Inka left this world to be in a better one on 11/24/09 around 6:30pm. It was our choice to let the suffering end due to the fact the Dr. Maloof told us she had an enlarged heart with fluid around it and her lungs. We couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. Hubby and I saw that she was breathing quite heavily the night before and knew something was not right. We could also see she had lost a lot of weight by the way she was breathing. The doctor said she had lost 2 pounds of an already small 8 pound body. Before making the final decision, we petted, loved and visited with her for 2 hours and we finally decided to let her go that night and we would bring her home to bury in the back yard. Chris left and I stayed behind to say some final goodbyes. Dr. Maloof came in to give her a shot to relax her and make Inka not remember any of it. Within 30 seconds she was laying on the table. I picked her up in the blanket she had been laying on and rocked her. I just told her I loved her and that I was gonna get my chance to hold her before she went whether she liked it or not. I told her Chris loved her very much and that she was a good cat. I couldnt forget that Mushy loves her and will be so very lost with out her. I held her until her body was so limp I knew her spirt had moved on. I layed her shell back onto the table and stroked her coat which had amazingly become soft again. Soft like it was days before she got sick. Shiny and soft. Then she started to gasp for air and the breaths were further and further apart. I knew at this time we had done the right thing. I brought Dr. Maloof back and told her "I think she is suffering.....she is gasping for her last breaths. It is time to let her go." I said some fast "Goodbyes", "You are a good kitty", and "You know we love you soooo much". I stepped out for the administration of the second drug and waited in the lobby. It was so surreal to sit in a lobby of a vet clinic where you know you are supposed to "Ooooh" and "Aaaahhh" over whatever comes in the door. No, you are sitting there waiting with an empty pet carrier. Dr. Maloof brough out a box, which I never opened, and I said a teary "Thank you" as she touched my shoulder. I put Inka in the cargo area and gently asked her not to move around too much. When I got home, I didnt really know what to do with her. Hubby was still at the pharmacy picking up my medicine for the swine flu. We were going to dig this hole together. I sat inside and waited. As I do most things, I posted my personal tragedy on Facebook. Hubby came home and actually did the same. We were supposed to be eating our nutritious and delicious Wendy's dinner.....right. Luckily through the "news travels fast" ways of facebook, a friend contacted Chris and let him know that his MIL works at a vet clinic and they could help us out. We both knew that having Inka in the backyard didnt appease us much. Wednesday morning, sickness and all, we packed up and took our special box down. They took good care of her for $30 and for an extra few they are putting her paw print in a metal cast. It will be on a plaque with a picture frame and her name. Finally, we are getting some closure....the sobs are simmering down to a minimum, and I can just lay down and have the H1N1 flu.....
Until today. We dont get the mail much. Me and hubby LOVE LOVE LOVE mail, but we just dont get down to our stupid lock and key, community mail box. We haul in the pile of mail today and I begin the tedious task of sorting. Chris is elsewhere. Bill, bill, recycle, want money, recycle, bill....Christmas card already??? To the Brooks Family???? *open open open* Kitty on the front! This is what was inside.....

Kind words from the wonderful Dr. Maloof.



And they remembered I forgot Inka's paw prints we tried to take right before she died. The office stuck them in the card. This induced uncontrollable sobbing as well as running up the stairs saying, "Stupid mail, we shouldnt have got the stupid mail." I have been crying ever since. I didnt think I (or Chris for that matter) would be as broken up as we are about a cat we rescued from my moms house 3 or 4 years ago. She was, what we thought, just our Pretty Inka McStinka who we had to keep the toilet lids down for because she loved to play in them. Or that silly cat who loved to steal french fries. Or the goof ball who would jump and jump and jump to be petted, but would never be held.....but I held you Inka. You know what pretty kitty....you liked it.


And so did I.

At a loss of what to do.

Welcome to Sunday night Sharing. Tonight I am gonna share and then go to bed. But I am looking for advice on what to do. I have 3 family members on facebook who found me. Well, one of them is one who I haven't talked to in a number of years....so long in fact she has not even met my husband. Me and Chris have been married 7 and a half years. This makes me sad. No one in her family made it to my wedding. We saw them quite often when I was growing up. I know there was a falling out when grandpa died between my dad and her but you know what someone still could have come to my wedding. Now I am being all wishy washy about whether or not I want to add her to facebook. I am pretty sure I am being childish.
The other 2 are my mom's brother and his wife. A couple who I have been quite close to in the past few years. I am just weary of due to the fact I dont want to get lectured on what I put on there. I want to have my freedom of speech. Maybe facebook needs to have a freedom of relatives on there. A nicely put "No thanks, Angie does not want to add you as a friend at this time, maybe reapply later" letter could go out if I chose to click the no button. I have had these 3 sitting in my in box for over a week now. Someone I didnt even know came in and asked to be my friend and right away I was like "Hey yeah sure! I dont know you and I am pretty sure you will judge me less than my family will....come on in!" The one I havent spoken to in many years will give me access to a whole side of the family I havent seen or heard from in many years and that would be absolutely amazing. Maybe I had better just suck up my facebook pride and just run with it. What do you guys think...well the 2 or 3 of you that do read this?

Going back in time...

Since this is supposed to be Thursday Throwback, I thought I would actually keep up with my word. This is a toss back to my high school days. I dont remember what year this was taken in, but this is of me and my BFF (still to this day) at Sears. His mom took us and we got these super corny shots of us together. We got separated after we went to Joel P. Jensen Middle school. One of us had to go to Copper Hills High and the other to West Jordan and we were pretty much devastated. So, down to the local Sears we went to get super cheesy photos, by an equally young photographer. We probably spent about $100 of Mickels moms money but we had good time laughing and goofing off. Mickel thinks my mom gave him that hair cut. I am hoping that my mom didnt do something that awful like a bowl cut to him. That is just hideous! Poor Mickel. My mom did cut a lot of my guy friends hair. I think she still have my one friend Dave's long ponytail. My mom is a good saver of things. If you ever think you might have lost something from when you were a kid, nah...just ask my mom.

On a side note, I went in for my dental surgery today. It was kinda awful, but as long as I keep up on my pain meds and dont try and eat too much I am ok. There are a few stitches in my mouth and they get in the way of food and important things like that. Before I even sat up out of the chair, I had a bruise forming on my face. How cool do you have to be to get a bruise going right away? I rock the casbah! Not sure if I will feel up to partying much tomorrow night, if at all. I kinda feel like hubby is wanting me to be his DD, but sometimes you just have to let someone with stitches in their face heal. I have chosen to sleep on the couch tonight due to the fact they asked me to sleep elevated and I snore. Hubby has to work tomorrow. I will cut him a break there. Well, I am gonna go watch a movie and hope for a little shut eye. Maybe have one of those tasty Creamies hubby bought me. :-) Hurray! Maybe I will see you for family friday unless I think of another topic. Bye!

TV Wednesday.....

hello everyone. this post looks a little wonky because it is being made from my phone from my bed....woohoo. with might i say very little punctuation due to the fact my phone goes silly everytime i try to use it. Tomorrow I go in for my failed root canal surgery. I don't feel prepared. I haven't cooked, cleaned, or done anything in which one might do before a surgery. Now I feel unprepared. What do you do at hour 19? Oh well right??

Let's talk TV! Anyone watching the new season of Americas Next Top Model yet? I know it just debuted tonght but I adore this show and all the drama that goes with it. SPOILER ALERT!!!!! If you have it tivoed....pass this next little bit. Didn't you think the bald chick should have been tossed right off the building for bitching nd whining just about her eyebrows and make up??? Hullow! That's just me. And what do we think of Tyras dark hair? I personally love it! It is sassy! Loved that on her show she took out her weave! Moving on....

Project Runway....who ISN'T watching this??? Heidi is gorgeous! And let's. Not forget Tim Gunn! Woo! THAT'S HOT!!! I am so glad the dork that messed up 3 projects in a row is finally gone. Took him long enough. The team challenge was so very entertaining. The fights, the sass and the supurb outfits in the end! I am not sure who is my fav yet but I will probably know by tomorrow. I will keep you posted.

Last for those of you following along....Big Brother 11. Kevin, Natalie and Jordan. Who's gonna win it all kids? I know who I want, but is that the same as what is really gonna happen? Lemme just say go Kevin!

Looking forward to the good old stand bys and some new ones. Ugly Betty, House, Castle.....maybe Reaper *fingers crossed*, and Breaking Bad. Talking to you all soon!

Brooks family photo

Today we are having family Saturday. I know I missed it yesterday. We were spending time with family yesterday saying "See you later" to Ben, Rach and the kids. They are going back home to the jungles of Indonesia to do their mission work. Today we will be sharing the Brooks family photos! And look...There we all are!
This is Chris with his brother Ben and his sister Erin. Wow. To me I dont think any of them look alike, but then again, I cant see the resembalance in my family either. Maybe it is just me.

A funny shot of the kids with mom....looks like mom was saying something. LOL

And of course...here is me and Chris. Not sure if I am fond of the hair done with the straightener. I will think about it some more.

Finally...this was a break between pictures when they told us all to make funny faces. Of course they gave it to us. LOL Thanks Mike! :-)

Wild Card Wednesday

I missed TV Tuesday. That is OK...Wild Card Wednesday can make up for it cause it is MY choice! If you know me...you know I LOVE TV!!! Reality TV is my very favorite. Since it is summer time I am watching all those summer time replacements. I am waiting for the good old stand-bys to come back for fall seasons like House, The Big Bang Theory, Castle, (crossing my fingers for) Reaper, Ugly Betty and a few others.
But right now Angie is neck deep into the horrible of the horrible of the reality TV shows. Some of which I am kinda embarrassed to mention. First I will mention my favorite. Have you seen Big Brother on CBS? They all get locked in a house, no contact with the outside and are watched like lab rats, and get voted out one by one. Last one standing gets 500 thousand dollars. I think it is the voyeur in me that loves this show.
Now I have been watching some really good ones on A&E that are informative and provocative at the same time and really emotionally gripping. The first is Intervention. Take a druggie, make him think he is making a documentary about drugs, get him high and do stupid shit on camera, make his family cry about the stupid stuff he has done, then make him go to an intervention and agree to go to treatment. Play sappy music when they show how good (or bad) he has done with his life. Show #2...Obsessed. All about these people with different kinds of OCD and they show how they obsess about different things and how they have anxiety about it, what they do to get over it and show them while they go through 3 months of treatment. Here is the kicker....sappy music at the end while it shows how well (or not well) they did at the end. I liked this one, it showed so many people from so many walks of life with so many spectrum of the problems. Show #3 Hoarders just came on. This show is about...well hoarding and the issues (mentally, physically and damaging to your home) it can cause. The people are usually faced with eviction, condemning from the city or one lady couldn't bring her husband home until she cleaned up. They have a team that can help them in 2 days....if they let them. Some are sad, some are disgusting, some you just want to ring around the neck and say "Let them help you!" It is interesting!
Then you also have those shows that you are completely unable to tell anyone you watch like, Dating in the Dark, Dance Your Ass Off, 18 kids and Counting, Megan Wanted a Millionaire Before He Killed a Hooker, Charm School, Toddlers and Tiaras, Wipeout, Tori and Dean, Daisy of Love, Tool Academy, and any other E! True Hollywood story and other wretched shows like that.
I apologize for any of these offensive shows and hopefully with fall season here and the help of Bill Frost from the City Weekly....maybe we can all watch something fun together......

Or better yet, step away from the TV and start a book club. What a novel *hee hee* idea.

What happens when a root canal doesnt work?

Ask me...I know! LOL

So I went to a specialist today that let me knows what happens. I was afraid he was going to tell me, "Sorry chick, we are going to remove your tooth, you are going to put it under your pillow and hope the tooth fairy comes." Boy, was I wrong. When a root canal fails (and who knew they could) I guess they have a couple of options beside taking the tooth. They can redo the root canal OR do an even more invasive procedure. Since I have, what the specialist said was "Arthritic looking grandma roots" he wants to do an apicoectomy on me. Which is basically taking a flap of my gums up around my tooth and taking the part of my root that is infected or troublesome out. This website explains it better than I do. Dont worry no graphic pictures or anything. http://www.simplestepsdental.com/SS/ihtSS/r.WSIHW000/st.32226/t.29811/pr.3.html
So, that is what I am going to do in a couple of Thursdays. Frankly my dear, I am not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to being out of pain in my mouth and KEEPING my tooth!

P.S. Thanks dental insurance.

P.P.S. Next Monday I will tell you more about what is going on with my general health and my back, etc.

Sharing is caring....

Or thats what they told us right? LOL Well, today is my general sharing day and since I haven't felt well all day I think I will just share what a fun weekend I had. Saturday I got up and went to my nieces soccer game. She is part of the Blue Dolphins. It is sooo much fun to watch 6 year olds run and play and kick each other (accidentally of course) and just have so much fun. From there I went to buy a new outfit cause the plan was to have family pictures. I bought my first new pair of shorts in probably...um...*thinking* 10 years. I was super excited! I thought I looked cute flabby thighs and all. Not to mention $10 at Lane Bryant. :-) I was going to go to Old Navy, but for some reason they only carry fat people clothes online and if you are gonna discriminate against my people, I wont shop with you. Screw you Old Navy! Then back to home. For a while it was pictures were on, pictures were off. You know how families can change thier minds sometimes. Well, 3pm came and pictures were on. I got dressed in my cute outfit and away we went. I will post one when I get them. It was a friend of my sis-in-law that did them, and I guess he likes to make sure they look just right. I hope he photoshops about 100 pounds off me. WOOT! :-) Then dropped Hubby off at his geek party and the girls night began!
I picked up a friend I hadn't seen in AGES! My high school friend Nicki and I went to Chili's to catch up and talk (and talk and talk and talk) before we met up with everyone else. Holy canoli batman! It was sooo fun! We chatted just like it was yesterday and no time had passed. Then we met up with Margie and Naked Jen, went to Blue Plate and to the drag show at Club Edge. And there we were seeing yet another friend of mine I hadn't seen in 100 years. This time I didnt recognize him as fast. Jesse was Jessica Christine and man was he gorgeous!!!! We went for Drag Idol round 1. I was disappointed in the lack of a drag show, but I had so much fun catching up with old friends and new ones at that.
New meeting the old sometimes can be a great thing and I hope it lasts. Laughter is a great medicine, especially for me at this time and it was something that was truly needed. Thanks for sharing it with me girls. When I get pics from Naked Jen I will surely post them!

Changes are coming....

I have decided to go with a theme....A daily theme to get me to post (hopefully, cross your fingers) daily! Here is the tentative schedule.

Sunday - Sharing (just general Sharing)
Monday - Medical (Me and what is going on in my medical drama)
Tuesday - TV (I love TV and I love chatting about whats on it!)
Wednesday - Wild Card (I'll pick a topic or you can suggest one!)
Thursday - Think Back (Remember when?....)
Friday - Family (just family stuff, pics, stories etc.)
Saturday - Suggestion (a fun, helpful, silly suggestion from me!)

What do you guys think? Will it work? I am willing to try and actually kinda excited about it. I got the schedule idea from a couple of other blogs I read so thanks Jenny and Melvin! I am stoked to get started today!

I know, I promised.

I know I was supposed to update after I went on vacation to Yellowstone with the Brooks, but I slacked off and posted some of my cute pictures on facebook instead. I didnt write down my stories or my memories, but I sure did have a good time, I promise. Here are some pictures to prove it.

Liz, Sam, Ryan and Emmilee posing on the beach of Cliff Lake.

Hubby relaxing at the Old Faithful Inn looking super handsome!

Parts of the family. Aunt Becky, Grandma Jo, Erin, and me and Hubby.
And those are just a couple of the highlights. Yes, we did see some of the very cool sites of Yellowstone. Old Faithful, the Inn, the mud pots, Quake Lake and the ghost cabins, West Yellowstone, and even a bit of wildlife. Thanks Brooks for a fun time!

Wow....I took a long time.

Did I really just take a month and a week between posts???? Huddo!

It is really time to get back to bloggin!

So....I decided since we are going on vacation in about a week, it was time to get back to blogging. Chris is leaving on Friday and I will catch up with him after that. We are headed to Yellowstone. I have never been there and what better time to start blogging again then a family vacation! WOO!!!! Vacations are super fun to blog about and blog while you are on....I think so anyways. Especially when there are pictures involved.

Other things that have happened....Erin and the girls (the cute ones pictured below) came back to Utah to live! WOOT!!!

This is Liz, she is 8.


This is Emmilee, she is 6.


And this is spoiled rotten by Uncle Chris. I mean Elaina. She is 4.

Me and hubby have had fun having them back. Erin and the kids come visit often and the kids have even spent the night! Me and Chris didn't sleep a wink. We were too busy worrying about them. Are they too cold, do they need to go to the bathroom, are the cats bugging them, should we check on them. They slept the whole night long! We had nothing to worry about.

My health has been getting better. I have been seeing the pain management clinic and they have been helping me a lot. I have also been losing some weight. *whisper* I weigh less than what my drivers license says. I am working on feeling even better. :-)


Moar good news!!!! These kids are coming home for a month long visit!!!! HURRAY!!!!! A month won't be long enough but we take whatever we can get.



This is Lydia, she is 7.


And this is Noah and he is almost 4. I will be back soon with more updates about other things and hopefully more random things. :-)

How long since I have really posted?

I have this new friend at work....her name is Naked Jen. She is super awesome I might add. She has inspired me to come back and blog by just posting this article in the NY Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/07/fashion/07blogs.html?ref=style?_r=1 It just got me thinking....Why did I not write in my blog for how many months? Why have I only posted silly little things in how long? I know not many people follow me and not many people ever will. This isn't the point. This blog is for me. So here is my re-dedication to my blog. Blogosphere....I'm back. To post stories and pictures and life in general. I like doing this...it is therapeutic. Now I should probably get on with my days chores.....or not.

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Click here to find out!

Promise of a new day.

I know I have been promised new days before....but I think today might be my new day. I finally made it through the evalutations at the pain management clinic. I had to see all three doctors in order to get in to see them. I had to see the doctor, the physical therapist and the shrink. They made an initial evaluation and now I am back to see what they want to do with me. I know they physical therapist wants to see me once a week for 2 months. What the rest of them want...not sure yet. So hear, my friends, is to the first day of my life of living pain free. To being able to go to the grocery store on my own. To being able to go to the mall with the girls and not have to sit down every 10 mins. To being able to participate in life to the fullest. To being the greatest wife my husband deserves. Lets hope it lives up to all my expectations.