Pffffft on today

Yesterday...thanks you were awesome. Today? I dont think we are talking to each other anymore. I am annoyed at the smallest things, I cried at work and now I have to go get some stitches removed. I dont think we should talk anymore today. You smell bad and I am gonna go home and for get you. Oh and here is a disapproving bunny. Thank you cuteoverload.com :-)

Dear February 22nd, 2010.....

Dear today,
I just wanted to thank you for all I was given. A warm bed to which I woke up to a fabulous husband. A wonderful job who sometimes I bash unnecessarily. For a newly forming friendship at work....those are always a welcome thing. Thank you for the friends I have now and plan on entertaining again at lunch tomorrow. Thank you for the super friends that I had a great weekend with and cannot wait to hang out with again. Thank you for Chris' amazing sister Erin, for providing us with nutritious things to eat instead of going out all the time. Thank you for making it 4 o'clock so I could run out of the building to meet my sweetheart. I dont think I can thank you for the tooth pain...sorry. Thank you for proving me with a home, with a garage for our cute car, and kitties to greet me as I come in. Thank also for letting us be able to afford nice new toys. Chris loves his new phone. Today, I am very thankful for you and I am excited for what tomorrow has in store.

Thanks,
ME!

P.S. I am not thanking you for the banana song. But thanks for the cute hubby who sings it with me.

Grrr....stuck in my head again!

I know a lot of people who have had this problem lately. Something gets stuck in your head and there is no way to get it out. My wonderful, super cute, handsome husband likes to get random things stuck in my head just to be annoying. Here is the latest one. Click it...I dare you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH5ay10RTGY

I am not completely sure if this is because it is so far stuck in his head, that he needs someone else to feel his pain or if he just likes to annoy me. :-) Its ok, I can take it. Especially if it means in the car I am eating a banana and we both break out into..."I'm a banana, I'm a banana, I'm a banana...LOOK AT ME MOVE."
8 years of marriage will do that to you. You talk at the same time, you move at the same time, and pick up his habits. Who knew that marriage could make you not want to sit with your back to the door. Instead of getting it from your family....I got it from my husband. I love that we are so much a like though. What would I do without him? *grin*

Being crafty with naughty words

I hope my friend doesnt see this before she gets her gift in the mail...but I had to share my craftiness with the world. I had to cross stitch 2 of these for a couple of deserving people. My friend at work recently lost her mom to pancreatic cancer...so in my head she and her sister deserved this little cross stitch gem. I also found out about my friend across the country who had cancer. It is in her jaw and face and she is now undergoing treatment and from what I can tell, doing well. The ironic thing was her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor not 6 months before. How is it in one couples life cancer decides to reek havoc on them both. Life baffles me sometimes. So my little sign is dedicated to all these people. I wish them no more pain and most of all no more cancer.
Thank you to Subversive Cross Stitch for teaching me how to cross stitch bad words. Its oddly satisfying. If you are interested, here is her website where she sells kits. http://subversivecrossstitch.com/

The greatest man that ever lived......

I know many people would say that Ghandi is a great man, or an ex president is a great man, or maybe some other male role model in your life. Mine...is this guy right here. He has been by my side for 8 years. Somedays it seems like moments in time, and others 8 years feels like an infinity.
Chris has put up with a lot from me. 5 years of unexplained pain, crying, not being able to tell what is wrong with me, somedays a psycho biotch. But he never left my side. He is a big supporter of anything that will make me feel better. He stayed with me a lot of the time in the hospital and cheered me on. He played with my hair and just read me facebook messages to keep me calm and entertained while laying flat on my back for 3 days. He is so supportive and wonderful there are no words for a spouse that sticks by you through so much illness and depression.
Our marriage has never been stronger and more loving than it is today. Exactly 2 months from tomorrow, I had my new soul without pain and suffering put in. We communicate much better and are understanding each other better and better every day.

I just wanted my hubby Chris to know what a great man he is. He is loving, kind, compassionate and most of all the best husband and best friend I could ask for.

I love you Chris. Forever.

I love my scar...part 3

Tuesday became my favorite day! I made sure I had my pain meds because there was a lot to be done. After sitting up, the doctors decided the catheter could come out. After that I was to have a shower! Woohoo for not being gross anymore. I never understood the awesomeness of a shower chair until this moment. I sat and got all of the yucky-ness out from the past 4 days. It was the best shower of my life! I got dried off and put on real clothes instead of a gown. My mom brought me the comfiest night gown. It was nice on my stitches and warm at that. I think I stayed in long nightgowns for the next 2 weeks. Tuesday also brought the slowest walk down the hall ever known to man....but I was walking! I think Tuesday was also the day my in-laws came to visit me but I was so tired they had to visit with my mom.
Wednesday I went home with my mom to her house. I tell you, surgery brings out the slow and painful because that was the longest and most painful car ride of my life. No matter how many drugs I was on, it hurt. I fell asleep right as we got in the door. Being at mom's house was nice. The bathroom wasnt far away, it was all on one level and if I needed anything, my mom was right there. I ended up staying at her house from December 23rd to December 31. I was supposed to go home earlier but Chris caught himself a man cold and wouldnt let me see him. Chris also brought my favorite cat, Marshmellow to stay with me and mom. When Mushy came, I was no longer home sick. During those 7 days at moms house were ok. I started walking laps around her house and outside to build strength and stamina. I was doing well...or so I thought.
Sunday my wound started to leak. From a small leak, to about a foot across. This scared the heck out of me. I ended up having my mom take me to the ER to get it checked out. They put 5 more stitches in the top of my wound because I had torn it open. This didnt help much. I still was leaking through bandages, clothing and on my bed. Chris ended up being the best murse (male nurse) you could ever ask for and everyday, sometimes twice, he would check it and rebandage it. He was so gentle.
I did make it out of the house for Christmas. I got to go see my neices and in-laws before they left. It was nice to get out of the house. I also, made an hour appearance at my friends New Years party. We were back home and in bed by 11pm. I was a sad date for New Years.
But New Year, brought a new Angie!!! I was back to work on January 4th. The doctor said this was manditory. She gave me a pep talk after I told her I didnt want to go to work yet...I wasnt ready. Dr. Bisson was the only one I would listen to. After we talked, I was released to work and back I went. I have been going strong since then. When I saw her again for my month follow up, I let her know that I would have never gone back to work if anyone else told me. She gave me the tough love I needed to keep going and start getting back to "normal". I thanked her and I will see her again in April for the monitoring of the tumors. I guess we will see where that adventure takes me. Until then, I am swimming, walking and doing things I thought I would never do again. I am so happy with the physical AND mental results. That scar represents so many things to me and new life is one of them. That scar helped my marriage, my outlook on life, and how it is to be a normal part of society again. My scar gave me hope....and it continues today.

So watch out people....some of you haven't met the real Angie...but she is coming to a town near you!

Scars continued.....

Finally I arrive in my room, after asking for my husband about 20 times in the recovery room. I was so happy to see Chris and my mom. I felt like I had just gone to sleep and now it is 7 hours later. I let the nurse know that I was hungry and they were nice enough to round up 2 dishes of mac n' cheese. Hubby fed me since I had to stay flat on my back for 3 more days. (they wanted my spine to stay flat with my head in case I developed a spinal fluid leak...I could be on my side but no sitting up.) I dont remember sleeping much but I really dont remember a lot of that night. Saturday my mom brought Jamba Juice after nutrition services had brought me a disappointing eggs, hasbrowns and toast combo. Try eating that while laying flat. LOL! After that breakfast the cafeteria people helped me find things that were more feasible to eat without much help. I ended up eating things like quesadillas, more mac n' cheese, and lots of PB & J. In the middle of the night, when no one was around, I would ask for peanut butter sandwiches. For the 4 nights I was there I probably ate 2-4 per night along with a carton of milk.
Saturday was my favorite day. I told Chris to go to a party that had been planned for a while now. He needed to go relax and hang out with friends. Around 11pm I called him and ended up talking with just about everyone at the party. It made me feel so loved.....jealous of their drunken-ness....but loved none the less. On top of that, Chris brought a card to the party that everyone signed.
Sunday was an awful day. I started the day by throwing up all in my hair and the side of my neck. I didnt get the hang of where to aim until the 2nd time. I dont know what made me so sick, but all of Sunday I was miserable. I was hot in the face but cold on my body. I had a headache and on top of that I couldnt keep any of my pain meds down. I felt bad for the poor guy who had to come clean me up after I puked. He was so nice and had this stuff to wash my hair without water. Chris ended up staying the night on the fold out couch because he worried about me.
Monday brought a new day and feeling sooo much better! Monday evening I started to sit up...30 degrees for 3 hours at a time. Tuesday was even better!!! I was sitting up eating tasty food. The doctor came in said I could get out of bed, get the catheter out and take a shower. All of that turned out to be awesome, yet tiring and painful at the same time.
Yet again....to be continued.

I believe scars tell stories....

Well, this is the result of back surgery. You may just see a scar but I see change. I love this scar because it means an end to a long war with my body. I ended up going in to surgery about 2 weeks early so that is why I am feeling so great now. I wanted to make sure I told my story.
About 14 months ago I was diagnosed with a mild form of Spina Bifida that is known as a tethered cord. (Google for further explination of it.) After finally knowing what was happening to my body, I didnt know where to go. In August, it let me know it was time. I was losing control of my bladder and if I waited much longer than I did, the results could have been permanent and other things could have been "lost" as well. I was going back to consult the neurosurgeon who helped me find the real problem only to find out that he was on medical leave. This unfortunate event led me to Dr. Erica Bisson. She made time for me to discuss what surgery meant for me, downtime, and all that other jazz. She was so caring and her bedside manner was absolutely amazing. At this appointment we decided on January 4th. Fast forward to December. Things start to get significantly worse. I see Dr. Bisson for pre-op and I had an MRI that day to show her what she was doing, and where she was going for surgery. On the MRI they found 3 tumors on my spinal nerves. I ended up having 2 more MRIs that day alone. It was decided that day, that we would do surgery the next day.
We went to the hospital, and never once was I scared, nervous or anxious about this. I was wheeled back at 1pm and remember talking to the anesthisologist about getting "The Michael Jackson" special. The next thing I remember was waking up and they were asking to rate my pain. They helped me get it under control and gave me some ice to eat. I got to my room about 7pm.
To be continued.....

1/4/10....the big day

So I know I have talked about having health issues on here before. I am hoping to be remedying some of them on January 4th, 2010. I am going in to have my tethered cord....well, untethered. Frankly, I am pretty excited. I am nervous of course, but mostly excited at the possibilities it brings. I will try and keep a good blog of what goes on and how I am doing but no guarantees ok? Then again, I might need something to do in the hospital. :-)

If you aren't too grossed out by hospital procedures, check this out. This is what will be happening to me on surgery day. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CECXTZHM7aI&NR=1&feature=fvwp I chose to post the link in case there are some squeamish people out there. I will try and post again after my pre-op appointment on Thursday. That day i should get a lot of questions answered.

Also, things around our house have been a lot different without Inka around. Mushy has been a lot more vocal. As hubby put it, he thinks that Tweedle Dumb finally realized he lost his Tweedle Dee. Gracie has come back to the bed. I think she understands who is head woman now....or again. And Bill has just been really vulgar and doing icky things to his sister that fixed cats should not be doing to his sister. What do you do?

Dear friend.....I let your paw go.

I first have to say I know that I have not been blogging. There has been much to say but no desire to share if that is understandable. Right now I have the need to type, cry, wipe my nose on my shirt and get it all out so the few friends I talk to most dont have to hear about it 17 gabillion more times.

Inka left this world to be in a better one on 11/24/09 around 6:30pm. It was our choice to let the suffering end due to the fact the Dr. Maloof told us she had an enlarged heart with fluid around it and her lungs. We couldn't allow her to suffer anymore. Hubby and I saw that she was breathing quite heavily the night before and knew something was not right. We could also see she had lost a lot of weight by the way she was breathing. The doctor said she had lost 2 pounds of an already small 8 pound body. Before making the final decision, we petted, loved and visited with her for 2 hours and we finally decided to let her go that night and we would bring her home to bury in the back yard. Chris left and I stayed behind to say some final goodbyes. Dr. Maloof came in to give her a shot to relax her and make Inka not remember any of it. Within 30 seconds she was laying on the table. I picked her up in the blanket she had been laying on and rocked her. I just told her I loved her and that I was gonna get my chance to hold her before she went whether she liked it or not. I told her Chris loved her very much and that she was a good cat. I couldnt forget that Mushy loves her and will be so very lost with out her. I held her until her body was so limp I knew her spirt had moved on. I layed her shell back onto the table and stroked her coat which had amazingly become soft again. Soft like it was days before she got sick. Shiny and soft. Then she started to gasp for air and the breaths were further and further apart. I knew at this time we had done the right thing. I brought Dr. Maloof back and told her "I think she is suffering.....she is gasping for her last breaths. It is time to let her go." I said some fast "Goodbyes", "You are a good kitty", and "You know we love you soooo much". I stepped out for the administration of the second drug and waited in the lobby. It was so surreal to sit in a lobby of a vet clinic where you know you are supposed to "Ooooh" and "Aaaahhh" over whatever comes in the door. No, you are sitting there waiting with an empty pet carrier. Dr. Maloof brough out a box, which I never opened, and I said a teary "Thank you" as she touched my shoulder. I put Inka in the cargo area and gently asked her not to move around too much. When I got home, I didnt really know what to do with her. Hubby was still at the pharmacy picking up my medicine for the swine flu. We were going to dig this hole together. I sat inside and waited. As I do most things, I posted my personal tragedy on Facebook. Hubby came home and actually did the same. We were supposed to be eating our nutritious and delicious Wendy's dinner.....right. Luckily through the "news travels fast" ways of facebook, a friend contacted Chris and let him know that his MIL works at a vet clinic and they could help us out. We both knew that having Inka in the backyard didnt appease us much. Wednesday morning, sickness and all, we packed up and took our special box down. They took good care of her for $30 and for an extra few they are putting her paw print in a metal cast. It will be on a plaque with a picture frame and her name. Finally, we are getting some closure....the sobs are simmering down to a minimum, and I can just lay down and have the H1N1 flu.....
Until today. We dont get the mail much. Me and hubby LOVE LOVE LOVE mail, but we just dont get down to our stupid lock and key, community mail box. We haul in the pile of mail today and I begin the tedious task of sorting. Chris is elsewhere. Bill, bill, recycle, want money, recycle, bill....Christmas card already??? To the Brooks Family???? *open open open* Kitty on the front! This is what was inside.....

Kind words from the wonderful Dr. Maloof.



And they remembered I forgot Inka's paw prints we tried to take right before she died. The office stuck them in the card. This induced uncontrollable sobbing as well as running up the stairs saying, "Stupid mail, we shouldnt have got the stupid mail." I have been crying ever since. I didnt think I (or Chris for that matter) would be as broken up as we are about a cat we rescued from my moms house 3 or 4 years ago. She was, what we thought, just our Pretty Inka McStinka who we had to keep the toilet lids down for because she loved to play in them. Or that silly cat who loved to steal french fries. Or the goof ball who would jump and jump and jump to be petted, but would never be held.....but I held you Inka. You know what pretty kitty....you liked it.


And so did I.

At a loss of what to do.

Welcome to Sunday night Sharing. Tonight I am gonna share and then go to bed. But I am looking for advice on what to do. I have 3 family members on facebook who found me. Well, one of them is one who I haven't talked to in a number of years....so long in fact she has not even met my husband. Me and Chris have been married 7 and a half years. This makes me sad. No one in her family made it to my wedding. We saw them quite often when I was growing up. I know there was a falling out when grandpa died between my dad and her but you know what someone still could have come to my wedding. Now I am being all wishy washy about whether or not I want to add her to facebook. I am pretty sure I am being childish.
The other 2 are my mom's brother and his wife. A couple who I have been quite close to in the past few years. I am just weary of due to the fact I dont want to get lectured on what I put on there. I want to have my freedom of speech. Maybe facebook needs to have a freedom of relatives on there. A nicely put "No thanks, Angie does not want to add you as a friend at this time, maybe reapply later" letter could go out if I chose to click the no button. I have had these 3 sitting in my in box for over a week now. Someone I didnt even know came in and asked to be my friend and right away I was like "Hey yeah sure! I dont know you and I am pretty sure you will judge me less than my family will....come on in!" The one I havent spoken to in many years will give me access to a whole side of the family I havent seen or heard from in many years and that would be absolutely amazing. Maybe I had better just suck up my facebook pride and just run with it. What do you guys think...well the 2 or 3 of you that do read this?

Going back in time...

Since this is supposed to be Thursday Throwback, I thought I would actually keep up with my word. This is a toss back to my high school days. I dont remember what year this was taken in, but this is of me and my BFF (still to this day) at Sears. His mom took us and we got these super corny shots of us together. We got separated after we went to Joel P. Jensen Middle school. One of us had to go to Copper Hills High and the other to West Jordan and we were pretty much devastated. So, down to the local Sears we went to get super cheesy photos, by an equally young photographer. We probably spent about $100 of Mickels moms money but we had good time laughing and goofing off. Mickel thinks my mom gave him that hair cut. I am hoping that my mom didnt do something that awful like a bowl cut to him. That is just hideous! Poor Mickel. My mom did cut a lot of my guy friends hair. I think she still have my one friend Dave's long ponytail. My mom is a good saver of things. If you ever think you might have lost something from when you were a kid, nah...just ask my mom.

On a side note, I went in for my dental surgery today. It was kinda awful, but as long as I keep up on my pain meds and dont try and eat too much I am ok. There are a few stitches in my mouth and they get in the way of food and important things like that. Before I even sat up out of the chair, I had a bruise forming on my face. How cool do you have to be to get a bruise going right away? I rock the casbah! Not sure if I will feel up to partying much tomorrow night, if at all. I kinda feel like hubby is wanting me to be his DD, but sometimes you just have to let someone with stitches in their face heal. I have chosen to sleep on the couch tonight due to the fact they asked me to sleep elevated and I snore. Hubby has to work tomorrow. I will cut him a break there. Well, I am gonna go watch a movie and hope for a little shut eye. Maybe have one of those tasty Creamies hubby bought me. :-) Hurray! Maybe I will see you for family friday unless I think of another topic. Bye!

TV Wednesday.....

hello everyone. this post looks a little wonky because it is being made from my phone from my bed....woohoo. with might i say very little punctuation due to the fact my phone goes silly everytime i try to use it. Tomorrow I go in for my failed root canal surgery. I don't feel prepared. I haven't cooked, cleaned, or done anything in which one might do before a surgery. Now I feel unprepared. What do you do at hour 19? Oh well right??

Let's talk TV! Anyone watching the new season of Americas Next Top Model yet? I know it just debuted tonght but I adore this show and all the drama that goes with it. SPOILER ALERT!!!!! If you have it tivoed....pass this next little bit. Didn't you think the bald chick should have been tossed right off the building for bitching nd whining just about her eyebrows and make up??? Hullow! That's just me. And what do we think of Tyras dark hair? I personally love it! It is sassy! Loved that on her show she took out her weave! Moving on....

Project Runway....who ISN'T watching this??? Heidi is gorgeous! And let's. Not forget Tim Gunn! Woo! THAT'S HOT!!! I am so glad the dork that messed up 3 projects in a row is finally gone. Took him long enough. The team challenge was so very entertaining. The fights, the sass and the supurb outfits in the end! I am not sure who is my fav yet but I will probably know by tomorrow. I will keep you posted.

Last for those of you following along....Big Brother 11. Kevin, Natalie and Jordan. Who's gonna win it all kids? I know who I want, but is that the same as what is really gonna happen? Lemme just say go Kevin!

Looking forward to the good old stand bys and some new ones. Ugly Betty, House, Castle.....maybe Reaper *fingers crossed*, and Breaking Bad. Talking to you all soon!

Brooks family photo

Today we are having family Saturday. I know I missed it yesterday. We were spending time with family yesterday saying "See you later" to Ben, Rach and the kids. They are going back home to the jungles of Indonesia to do their mission work. Today we will be sharing the Brooks family photos! And look...There we all are!
This is Chris with his brother Ben and his sister Erin. Wow. To me I dont think any of them look alike, but then again, I cant see the resembalance in my family either. Maybe it is just me.

A funny shot of the kids with mom....looks like mom was saying something. LOL

And of course...here is me and Chris. Not sure if I am fond of the hair done with the straightener. I will think about it some more.

Finally...this was a break between pictures when they told us all to make funny faces. Of course they gave it to us. LOL Thanks Mike! :-)

Wild Card Wednesday

I missed TV Tuesday. That is OK...Wild Card Wednesday can make up for it cause it is MY choice! If you know me...you know I LOVE TV!!! Reality TV is my very favorite. Since it is summer time I am watching all those summer time replacements. I am waiting for the good old stand-bys to come back for fall seasons like House, The Big Bang Theory, Castle, (crossing my fingers for) Reaper, Ugly Betty and a few others.
But right now Angie is neck deep into the horrible of the horrible of the reality TV shows. Some of which I am kinda embarrassed to mention. First I will mention my favorite. Have you seen Big Brother on CBS? They all get locked in a house, no contact with the outside and are watched like lab rats, and get voted out one by one. Last one standing gets 500 thousand dollars. I think it is the voyeur in me that loves this show.
Now I have been watching some really good ones on A&E that are informative and provocative at the same time and really emotionally gripping. The first is Intervention. Take a druggie, make him think he is making a documentary about drugs, get him high and do stupid shit on camera, make his family cry about the stupid stuff he has done, then make him go to an intervention and agree to go to treatment. Play sappy music when they show how good (or bad) he has done with his life. Show #2...Obsessed. All about these people with different kinds of OCD and they show how they obsess about different things and how they have anxiety about it, what they do to get over it and show them while they go through 3 months of treatment. Here is the kicker....sappy music at the end while it shows how well (or not well) they did at the end. I liked this one, it showed so many people from so many walks of life with so many spectrum of the problems. Show #3 Hoarders just came on. This show is about...well hoarding and the issues (mentally, physically and damaging to your home) it can cause. The people are usually faced with eviction, condemning from the city or one lady couldn't bring her husband home until she cleaned up. They have a team that can help them in 2 days....if they let them. Some are sad, some are disgusting, some you just want to ring around the neck and say "Let them help you!" It is interesting!
Then you also have those shows that you are completely unable to tell anyone you watch like, Dating in the Dark, Dance Your Ass Off, 18 kids and Counting, Megan Wanted a Millionaire Before He Killed a Hooker, Charm School, Toddlers and Tiaras, Wipeout, Tori and Dean, Daisy of Love, Tool Academy, and any other E! True Hollywood story and other wretched shows like that.
I apologize for any of these offensive shows and hopefully with fall season here and the help of Bill Frost from the City Weekly....maybe we can all watch something fun together......

Or better yet, step away from the TV and start a book club. What a novel *hee hee* idea.