Sunday, September 13, 2009

At a loss of what to do.

Welcome to Sunday night Sharing. Tonight I am gonna share and then go to bed. But I am looking for advice on what to do. I have 3 family members on facebook who found me. Well, one of them is one who I haven't talked to in a number of long in fact she has not even met my husband. Me and Chris have been married 7 and a half years. This makes me sad. No one in her family made it to my wedding. We saw them quite often when I was growing up. I know there was a falling out when grandpa died between my dad and her but you know what someone still could have come to my wedding. Now I am being all wishy washy about whether or not I want to add her to facebook. I am pretty sure I am being childish.
The other 2 are my mom's brother and his wife. A couple who I have been quite close to in the past few years. I am just weary of due to the fact I dont want to get lectured on what I put on there. I want to have my freedom of speech. Maybe facebook needs to have a freedom of relatives on there. A nicely put "No thanks, Angie does not want to add you as a friend at this time, maybe reapply later" letter could go out if I chose to click the no button. I have had these 3 sitting in my in box for over a week now. Someone I didnt even know came in and asked to be my friend and right away I was like "Hey yeah sure! I dont know you and I am pretty sure you will judge me less than my family will....come on in!" The one I havent spoken to in many years will give me access to a whole side of the family I havent seen or heard from in many years and that would be absolutely amazing. Maybe I had better just suck up my facebook pride and just run with it. What do you guys think...well the 2 or 3 of you that do read this?


Niki said...

Ah, who among us hasn't had this debate with themselves? I know I have. Honestly, if you don't want to add them...don't. They won't get any notification that you have declined their request.

I wouldn't add my own mother as a facebook friend, were she on facebook, for exactly the reason you stated....I want to be able to express myself and say what I want without judgment/lecture.

The other thing is that I don't believe that being facebook friends is any determination of relationship or real life friend status. I mean, it's a website. And sure, it's a great place to share info and photos and whatnot. But not all of the content we post is suitable for all people in our lives.

There will always be people who think they are closer to us than they really are. Or others that are, but don't share some of our opinions/beliefs. And in those cases, I think it's okay to have select boundaries.

Travis said...

I see where you are coming from, but I have a different dynamic with my family. I have accepted my mom, and several other relatives and they see the pictures I post, and occasionally comment on them as well. It's my life to live and my family needs to respect that. I don't hide who I am or what I do. When they disagree with something they let me know and we either discuss it or we don't.

Lectures sort of happen, but by-and-large they know that I'm going to be me, and not do anything other than that. After a few discussions they understand that I'm not always the person they wish I were, but I am the person that I am, and they respect that.

Hope it helps :)